Not a Saint Nor a Whore. JUST A WOMAN.

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     Why do we have the tendency to judge ourselves based what others say about us? “They say I am stupid, they must be right” or “they keep calling me a bitch, I think I AM one.”

     Why do we judge ourselves based on other people’s looks or actions? “He has money and girls and I don’t. I must be a failure” or “She’s so gorgeous and I look absolutely nothing like her, I’m so ugly.”

     Oftentimes, we look at ourselves in the mirror and we don’t like what we see, so we ask: “Does this make me look fat?” or “Is this too much? Do I look like a whore?” or “Is this what a good girl looks like?”

     On the other hand, sometimes we judge ourselves in a completely opposite way. Sometimes we make ourselves look sooo much better than what we actually are. We think, “everyone likes me, I must be a really good person” or “she’s a stripper and I’m not, I’m so much better than her.”

     Let me tell you that signing one petition doesn’t make you an activist. Buying material stuff to your kids doesn’t make you parent of the year. Reading one book doesn’t make you an expert on the subject. Eating clean doesn’t make you a nutritionist… and being a virgin does NOT make you a holy being.

     I believe that the worst of all judgments we make is when we judge ourselves based on a simple mistake we made. “I let her use me, I’m a fucking idiot” or “He got what he wanted from me. I’m worthless now.”

     Stop kidding yourself. Stop judging yourself based on others or based on the mistakes you’ve made. You’re just a human being. You are valuable JUST the way you are. We all make mistakes. We all do good things as well. One poor choice doesn’t make you a bad person or vice versa.

     I can honestly say that I have asked myself most of the questions above (and probably many more). I have been fighting with myself most of my life. I like to have crazy hair colors, dress a certain way, do certain things, and oftentimes I hear people say that I won’t get very far with that hair color (no need to even talk about the tattoos), that no guy is going to take me seriously because of the way I dress, or that I will never succeed if I don’t start “acting” like a “good girl.”

     I’ve made mistakes that have made me want to desperately desire a time machine. I have trusted and fallen in love a few times, but that does not make me a whore. I have also done things that make me extremely proud to be the person I am. I like to read and to educate myself. I like to help others and spread knowledge, peace, and love, BUT that does not make me a saint. I am simply myself... just like you are...

     I am not a saint. I am not a whore. I’m a human being.